Saturday, November 27, 2010

well it's Saturday and last night was the shits

calm down, not literally....hip was hurting so we went to bed at 9pm ish....watching TV for awhile, fell asleep I don't know when cause I have a sleep timer on the TV....Woke up thinking it was morning at 11 know it's gonna be a L O N G night when that happens....I saw midnight, 1:30 am, and f*&%ing so on till I finally got up at 5:30am.....I caved in an bought BT some sugarless fudge, at an outlet mall in Orlando at the rip off price of $8.95 for a slab, well he didn't like it cause he said it was sugarless.....welllllll duuhhhh, YOU ARE A DIABETIC !!!! holy crap, wasn't gonna waste it so I had a piece while watching ELR, so did BT, well that must have been what did me in even though I had taken 2 Aleve's and my sleeping pill......Note to self, no more diabetic fudge for DA BT...and this was after he had a......what is a nice way to describe it......a diabetic episode at the Main gate Flea Market, while I was negotiating WDW tickets....needless to say the last 24 hours were NOT FUN,....I repeat my request /enquiry from yesterday a large pillow is needed STAT...Now the f*&^(%$ dishwasher quit working with a FULL load of dirty dishes.....duhhhhhh they wouldn't be clean dishes unless my name was Margaret Woodhead or Catherine Tonner, or Amanda Barrett....I think that a dishwasher should be able to clean dirty dishes, correct ?  anyway I think that the dishwasher is fubared and I will call them on my way to the beach to see BFF & Hawk....hope the weather is good over there was the shits here yesterday, the first rain that we have seen so far. only went to 2 stores yesterday on BLACK FRIDAY !!!!!  Kmart to get diet Pepsi, and it was an absolute mess, they must have had some really good deals because it looked liked Catherines room when she was a teenager( that brings up a whole other topic, how can someone go from being an absolute slob, with moldy food on plates under her bed, clothes a foot deep on her floor and with damp towels hanging on every available space, to an anal retentive, OCD, control freak in under 15 years ?) , and when I got there the deal was not as good because it was 4 /12 instead of 4/10 but I bought it anyway....and then to the Dollar Tree, my second favourite store, to buy a ummmmmmm some sort of Plunger.....figured this place would have had one but Nope not that will be one other thing to add to my Florida box.....before you know it that will become my Florida crate !!!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Trying to explain Facebook to BT is about as much fun as getting a mammogram

OMFG....I just spent 45 min trying to explain Facebook to BT for the 15th time no less.....I sometimes get so frustrated, that it is a good thing that I don't have:
a) a sharp object in my hand
b) a pillow close by
c) something long, hard and heavy within reach !!!!
Why is it so difficult for those of the older (and not so old as I ponder the question) male gender of the Tonner persuasion to , grasp the simplicities of Facebook....for example. BT asks if I send someone a message can everyone see it (this question has been asked multiple time) and if I post something on their wall can everyone see it....( this has been asked even more times)....I used this analogy,  the message is like email, only the person you sent it to will see it,  If you post something on their wall.....picture a wall in front of their house, if you write on their wall then every one going by will see it !!!!....Now I ask you, is this a difficult concept to grasp ?  I said to him during this 45 minute tutorial this morning, that if you want to learn more about a person, go to their profile page..... (BT's comments are going to be in red from now on).....because thats what I see when I talk to him sometimes "Oh I never go to their profile page, I figure that's their own business,"... Barry, you just don't understand the concept of Facebook, Becky you don't understand......I  (are you ready for this) invented the internet and I know more about how it works than you do...I said I'm so f**king happy for you, Al !.... got up, saying as I left....I now have a subject for my blog.....he looks at me and made a stupid hand gesture and it's wasn't flipping me the bird !!!! use your imagination !!!!
Now that is 45 minutes of my life that I will never get back !!!!!
When I explain things to him or when he makes an off the wall statement, his line is " I'm so far ahead of you people that it's scary"  is very disconcerting, because I think that he actually believes it.....
Well I didn't make it out to the Black Friday sales because in my current frame of mind I would be in jail by now, and I'm afraid that BT aka Al Gore, would forget that I left the house, and would end up sitting either here or by the pool contemplating why the water in the lazy river goes clockwise and not counter clock wise, or why Felix the maintenance man is a Puerto Rican and not a Portuguese, given his perchance  for his leaf get that one you will have to visit us in SS or ask me and I will explain it, actually it was a very funny line...Now on that one I was way ahead of fact so far ahead he never did get it, until I spelled it out   v e r y   v e r y  slowly....any way I I figure if I got put in jail for knocking around some Black Friday shoppers then I would be there until 
a) BT ran out of food
b) BT ran out of Money
c) I was gonna say clean clothes, but all he wears is his bathing suit
d) until he runs out of clean dishes
I didn't go because, as you know who says "remember we are retired"

Psstttt does anyone have an extra pillow !!!!!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Situational Awareness BT style

I forgot to mention this morning that as we were heading into The Wing house on W. Vine St. in Kissimmee,  There was a very pretty young lady holding open the door for us old farts....BT was concentrating so hard on her obvious attributes that allow her to work in such an establishment, that he tripped over a parking heard me right....a frigging parking curb....thats what he calls "doing a Becky".....the poor girl made a motion to come to his rescue while asking " Are you ok Sir, do you need help Sir ?"   what she should have been saying " watch where you're walking you dirty old man , get your eyes on the ground not on my t*ts"....BT says no I'm ok thanks......I couldn't let this opportunity go so I played it up to the hilt....."WTH did you trip over?....ahhhhhhh I see, you did not have "Situational awareness" ( which is what he says to me ALLLLLLLL the time), hmmmmm maybe you should have been watching where you were going instead of where you wanted to be !!!!! Then when she asked where where we wanted to sit....I said in your section.......hehehehe I wasn't finished with BT yet.....when I questioned him as to what the hell happened, were you stroking out, or were you stroking out ? if you know what I mean, when he admitted that he was checking her out....I couldn't resist filling her in much to BT's embarrassment ...I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I think that maybe BT won't be so quick to snigger and mock me when I trip and run into things....BTW I have a reason  for doing so, other than looking at girls boobs, I have no peripheral  vision. So have Situational/Tituational Awareness when you are around me in the future BT

more of the same crap but today it's US Thanksgiving crap !!!!!

Happy Gobble day to everyone in the US of A....Except BT....I am still pi$$ed at him, for his Shemp remarks,  plus everytime he thinks about it he giggles like a frigging girl....Chris asked for a picture yesterday & I said no, why he asked ?  Hummphh I don't want you saying that I looked like Moe or Larry, his response was, "Would I do that ?  I told him that the apple don't fall far from the Tonner tree, plus my feelings are very fragile right now...
went out yesterday to Kens Wing house for lunch and then did one Flea market, I almost bought BT a tee shirt that said "Property of Jesus" then I gave my head a shake, and looked for one that said "property of Satan"...came away empty handed I am sorry to say......if anyone can tell me where to buy one let me know.....I even tried www.gotohell.obama, but they are sold out...went into one of those megga huge honking souvenir stores along know the ones that have a friggin merlin head the size of New Jersey on the  top, they have everything Disney and a whole bunch of other shit as fav is a pair of tighty whities that say on the ass "World's best Fart Machine"  I know two people that I could give them to....Both of them have the David underwear from know the ones,( if you haven't seen them), they have in full grey colour on the back "The Davids" ass, then on the front, David's junk (as they are wont to call it now)...unfortunately they only came in one size....on some of the wearers the ummmmmm "junk" is distorted a great deal and on the other other not so much.....getting back to the fart underwear, Chris only wears boxers so I thought nahhhhhh, and if you can't read them all the time, then only one other person would appreciate the sense of humour, and I've already seen it, so I passed.....BT wouldn't wear them to Dr. Schatzmans so what was the point.....
getting ready to watch some serious football today, our thanksgiving dinner has been thawed and we will put them on the BBQ later....going over to the beach on Sat to see BFF and Hawk....spent most of the evening on the phone with Keurig I bought myself a Keurig mini brewer, and BFF decided to get one for herself, then came the torture of trying to get the coupon code you know the one buy 2 big boxes of K cups and get the next two absolutely free.....well mine worked just great, then it came to doing hers....well lets say the people at Keurig are very very lucky that they are not even remotely close to Davenport FL because each and everyone of them would have nowhere to wear their hats....dealing with them is like banging your head against a brick feels so &^%*%#@ good when you stop....OMFG a requirement of working there must be, that you have a GPA of 12...unfortunately their website is NOT USER FRIENDLY......note to self and to the rest of the world.....struggle with the website it is much easier that dealing with the BDF's that are cleverly disguised as Customer Service Reps.. ok enough rambling for one day...